Numbers RSVP wording by wedding type
Traditional wedding RSVP wording you can copy
A formal reply card asks who is coming, and nothing else. The date sits about ten days before your caterer's deadline.
The short answer
On a formal reply card, give a blank for the name, checkboxes for accepts or declines, and a date. Kindly reply by Saturday 29 May. Add a meal line only if the caterer needs a choice. Gifts, attire and plus-ones you have not offered stay off the card.
A traditional reply card is short on purpose. Emily Post's invitation rules keep gifts and dress off the main card; the reply follows that quietness. The one date that matters is the RSVP date, set from the caterer's headcount deadline, not from a guess.
The invitation line
Print this on the invitation itself, or on a small enclosure if the main card is already full.
The favour of a reply is requested by Saturday, the twenty-ninth of May.
The reply card
4 lines, and nothing else that the kitchen or the seating chart will not use.
M ________________________________
accepts with pleasure
declines with regret
Kindly reply by Saturday 29 May.
Use this when the invitation itself is formal: spelled-out date, honour or pleasure, a house of worship or a ballroom. It matches the invitation wording that opens with hosts and a request line.
A reminder you can send
Wait until a few days after the printed date, then send this once. Copy the replies into the same list you use for the cards, so you are not keeping two headcounts.
Dear Anna, we are sending numbers to the caterer this week and did not want to miss you. Will you be able to join us on 19 June. We need to know by Friday, either way.
When this wording fits, and when it does not
Do not ask for a gift preference, a song request or a plus-one you have not offered. Do not write RSVP by email on a card that already has a stamped envelope, or guests will split across two places.
The date on the card is not a guess. Work it back from the caterer's headcount deadline with the RSVP deadline calculator. The usual window is ten days to two weeks before that date, as in when to send invitations.
Free toolWedding RSVP deadline calculatorWork back from your caterer's deadline to the date to print on your invitations.Find my RSVP dateOther RSVP wording. casual.
Yes, I Do
Every guest, every reply
Paste a list from anywhere and it becomes names. Replies, plus-ones, dietary notes and tables stay in one place, for both of you.
Questions
What does a traditional RSVP card say?
A line for the guest's name, accepts with pleasure or declines with regret, and a reply date. Meal choices only if the kitchen needs them.
Is kindly reply by correct?
Yes. It is the usual formal request. The favour of a reply is requested is the more traditional invitation line, and both are fine on the card.
Do you write RSVP or reply?
Either. RSVP is widely understood. Kindly reply by, with the date, is clearer for guests who do not use the abbreviation.
Where does the date come from?
About ten days to two weeks before your caterer needs final numbers. The RSVP deadline calculator works that date back from the contract.
Sources
- Wording below is written for a traditional wedding. Change the names, the date and the seat count. Do not mix in a line from a different type of day.
- The RSVP date is set from the caterer's deadline, the method in when to send invitations.
- The longer invitation, from who is hosting, is in wedding invitation wording.
- The longer guide this card belongs with is wedding invitation wording.