When to send save-the-dates, invitations and the RSVP date

Most advice on invitations gives you a range and leaves you to guess. There is a better way to pick the dates: work backwards from the one deadline you cannot move.

The timeline at a glance

Start from the caterer's deadline

Your caterer, or your venue if it does the catering, will give you a date for the final headcount. After it, they order food and schedule staff for a number, and changes can cost money. It is usually one to three weeks before the wedding, and it is written in your contract.

That date is the fixed point. From it:

1. Take away the days you want for following up. Some guests will not reply by the date you print. Ten days gives you time for messages and phone calls without a rush. That gives you your RSVP date.
2. Take away the time you want to give guests to reply. Four to six weeks is comfortable. That gives you the day to send the invitations.

Here is a worked example. The wedding is on Sunday 20 June 2027, and the caterer needs numbers by 10 June. With ten days to follow up, the RSVP date is 31 May. Giving guests six weeks to reply, the invitations go out on 19 April.

Free toolWedding RSVP deadline calculatorWork back from your caterer's deadline to the date to print on your invitations.Find my RSVP date

When to send save-the-dates

Save-the-dates go out six to eight months before the wedding. They are optional, but they help anyone who needs to book time off, arrange childcare or travel.

Send them earlier, eight to twelve months ahead, if:

• the wedding is abroad or needs a flight for most guests,
• it falls on a holiday weekend,
• many guests will need to book accommodation.

For a wedding abroad, our destination wedding timeline works through every guest date, and how to set the RSVP date when the hotel's deadline comes before the caterer's.

Only send a save-the-date to someone you are certain will receive an invitation. Taking a save-the-date back is much harder than not sending one. If the guest list is still growing, settle it first. Our guide to making and cutting a guest list helps.

When to send wedding invitations

For most weddings, eight to ten weeks before the date. Our wedding planning checklist sets it at ten weeks, which leaves room for printing delays and a relaxed reply window.

Go earlier if:

• you did not send save-the-dates: send invitations 10 to 12 weeks ahead,
• it is a destination wedding: 3 to 4 months ahead,
• it is a holiday weekend: 10 to 12 weeks ahead.

Order printed invitations about four to five months before the wedding. Printing, addressing and postage all take longer than they look, and you need to have the venue, times and RSVP date settled before anything goes to print.

When should the RSVP date be?

Set the RSVP date two to three weeks before your caterer's headcount deadline. For a typical wedding that means three to five weeks before the day.

Earlier than that and guests will not know their plans yet. Later and you will be chasing replies in the week you should be doing the seating chart.

If the date has already passed and replies are missing, ask your caterer what they can still accept, then send a short, friendly reminder. A personal message does more than a second card.

RSVP wording you can copy

On the invitation or reply card:

Kindly reply by Monday 31 May 2027.

With a meal choice or dietary question:

Kindly reply by 31 May. Please let us know of any dietary needs so we can pass them to our caterer.

For a gentle reminder by text or message, a few days after the RSVP date:

Hi Sam, we are sending our final numbers to the caterer this week and did not want to miss you. Will you be able to join us on 20 June? No pressure either way, we just need to know by Friday.

Digital or printed invitations?

Both are fine. Printed invitations feel more formal and give older guests something to keep. Digital invitations are cheaper, faster, and make replies easier to track. Many couples send printed invitations with a link or QR code to reply online, which gives you the best of both.

Whichever you choose, keep the replies in one place as they come in, not split across a pile of cards, a text thread and an email inbox.

Keeping track of the replies

This is where the timeline usually breaks down. Replies arrive by post, text, email and in person at the office party. Somebody's partner says yes for both of them. Two guests reply with dietary notes you need to pass on. A week before the RSVP date, it is surprisingly hard to say how many people are coming.

A shared guest list solves most of it. Mark each guest as yes, no or pending the moment you hear, with plus-ones and dietary notes on the same row, and you always know the headcount and who still needs a nudge. Our free guest list template is a good spreadsheet for this.

In Yes, I Do, the guest list shows who is coming, who has declined and who you are still waiting for, and both of you can mark replies from your own phones as they come in, so neither of you has to forward messages to the other.

Questions

Sources

• The RSVP arithmetic follows the free Yes, I Do RSVP deadline calculator.
• Invitation timing matches the task dates in the Yes, I Do wedding checklist by date.