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The kids' table at a wedding, decided by age and counted in seats and meals
Inviting children is half the decision. The other half is where each of them sits, and that comes down to their ages, how many there are, and whether they know each other.
The short answer
Seat children under 3 with their parents, give children aged about 3 to 10 their own table when there are enough of them to fill most of it, and seat older children with their parents unless there are enough for a table of their own. Put the kids' table right next to their parents' tables. Ask your caterer for its children's price: on one venue's price sheet a child aged 3 to 10 is from $18 against $100 for an adult buffet, so in the worked example below 9 children cost $162 instead of $900.
A kids' table is not a rule of etiquette. It is a seating decision, and like every seating decision it is easier with a count in front of you. Some weddings have three children, all under two, and need nothing but high chairs. Others have a dozen cousins between five and nine who would much rather sit together than next to their parents for two hours.
This guide gives a rule by age, a worked example with real prices, and what to ask the venue and caterer before the seating chart is drawn. If you are still deciding whether to invite children at all, start with our guide to an adults-only wedding.
Step 1: Count the children by age
Go through your guest list and write down every child who is invited, with their age on the day and who their parents are. Group them in three bands:
| Age on the day | Where they sit |
|---|---|
| Under 3 | With a parent, in a high chair or on a lap |
| About 3 to 10 | At a kids' table, if there are enough of them |
| About 11 and over | With their parents, or at a table of their own |
The first two bands follow advice from Calder Clark of Blue Moon Events in Charleston Weddings Magazine: if their parents want an evening to themselves, children under two need an on-site sitter, and children aged three to ten can be seated at a kids' table. Caterers often draw the line at 3 rather than 2, which is why the first band here goes up to 3. The last band is a judgement call. A twelve-year-old may feel too old for crayons and too young to be stuck between two aunts, so ask their parents.
Step 2: Decide whether there are enough for a table
A kids' table with two children on it is two children sitting alone. Our rule:
- If you have enough children aged 3 to 10 to fill most of a table, about six or more, give them a kids' table.
- If you have fewer, or they do not know each other, seat them with their parents. Pleasantdale, a New Jersey venue, notes that children who do not know the others may feel uncomfortable among strangers, and that seating children with their parents lets the parents help with food, drinks and behavior.
- If you have four or more older children who know each other, offer them a table of their own. Otherwise they sit with their parents.
Cousins who see each other at every family event are the best case for a kids' table. Children of your friends who have never met are the weakest.
Step 3: Put it next to the parents
The kids' table goes beside the tables where their parents sit, so a parent can see it from their chair. Pleasantdale also suggests seating one responsible older child at the kids' table, a tween or young teenager the younger ones look up to.
Then two practical things for the youngest:
- Ask the venue how many high chairs and booster seats it has, and tell it how many you need.
- Leave space beside the parents' tables for strollers and baby carriers, so the little ones are not bumped by people walking past and the staff can get through.
Our guide to the wedding seating chart has the rest of the room: the family tables, the dance floor and who goes near the speakers.
A worked example
A wedding for 120 guests at a venue whose caterer charges $100 an adult for a buffet. Fifteen of the 120 are children:
| Children | Number | Where they sit | Price each | Food |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Under 3 | 3 | With their parents, in high chairs | No charge | $0 |
| 3 to 10 | 9 | The kids' table | From $18 | $162 |
| 12 to 14 | 3 | One at the kids' table, two with their parents | $100 | $300 |
| Total | 15 | $462 |
The prices are from the Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden's catering estimate sheet: buffet from $100 a person, children 3 to 10 from $18, and no charge for children under 3, though the caterer still needs to know how many. The sheet has no teenage price, so the older three are counted as adults. Taxes are extra on that sheet, and every caterer's age bands are different, so ask yours before you count the saving.
Counted as adults, the nine younger children would be $900 of food. At the children's price they are $162, $738 less.
The seats work out too. The kids' table seats ten: nine children and one of the older cousins to keep it calm. The other 110 people sit at the usual tables, with the three babies' high chairs beside their parents. Our page on tables for 120 guests has the arithmetic for the rest of the room, and our guide to how many tables you need explains it.
Free toolWedding guest list templatePaste your names and download a guest list for Excel or Google Sheets, already filled in.Make my guest list
What goes on the kids' table
Children sit through the same dinner and speeches as everyone else, and two hours is a long time at seven. Pleasantdale suggests two things:
- An activity pack at each place, with the child's name on it: coloring, puzzles, a small game.
- Food they will eat, ready on the table, so they do not have to queue at a buffet.
Ask your caterer whether children can be served first. A fed child is a calm child, and their parents get to eat too.
Counting them in the final number
Every child is a person on the count, even the ones who eat for free. When you send your caterer the final number, give children's meals as their own line, and the babies too, so the venue sets out the high chairs. Our guide to the final headcount shows the message to send.
Seating children in Yes, I Do
Add each child to the guest list as a guest of their own, with their family's side. A plus-one always sits in the seat next to the guest who brings them, which suits a baby on a lap, but a child at the kids' table needs their own name to be seated there.
Then, on the seating plan, add a table, name it "Kids", set its seats, and choose its shape: round, oval, square, rectangle or a long table. Place it on the floor plan next to the parents' tables and put each child at it. Both of you see the same plan on your own phones, so a cousin moved by one of you shows up for the other.
Yes, I Do
Seat everyone who said yes
Tables fill from the replies on your guest list, and moving someone to another table is one tap.
Questions
What age is the kids' table at a wedding?
Usually about 3 to 10. Children under 3 need an adult with them, so they sit with a parent, and children from about 11 often prefer to sit with their parents or at a table of their own. Ask the parents of anyone near the edges.
Should kids sit with their parents at a wedding?
When there are only a few of them, or they do not know each other, yes. Parents can help with food and behavior, and a child is not left among strangers. When there are enough children who know each other to fill a table, a kids' table next to their parents usually works better for everyone.
Do kids pay full price at a wedding?
Often not. Many caterers have a children's price for an age band, such as 3 to 10, and no charge for babies. On one venue's sheet a child aged 3 to 10 is from $18 against $100 for an adult buffet. Ask your caterer for its bands, and count older children as adults until it says otherwise.
Do babies count in the wedding headcount?
Yes, even when their meal is free. The caterer needs the number to set out high chairs and the right number of places. Give babies as their own line when you send the final count.
Where should the kids' table be at a wedding?
Right next to the tables where their parents sit, so a parent can see it from their chair. Leave room around the parents' tables for strollers and carriers.
How many kids do you need for a kids' table?
Enough to fill most of a table, about six or more, who know each other. With fewer, seat them with their parents.
Sources
- Lewis Ginter Botanical Garden: wedding catering pricing estimate sheet (PDF), 2021, for the $100 buffet, children 3 to 10 from $18, no charge under 3 with the number still needed, and taxes not included.
- Charleston Weddings Magazine: Kid-Friendly, with Calder Clark of Blue Moon Events, for children under two needing an on-site sitter and children aged three to ten seated at a kids' table.
- Pleasantdale: kids' table tips, Keith Sly, 16 December 2015, for seating children with parents, placing the kids' table next to the parents, a responsible older child, activity packs, food on the table, high chairs and booster seats, and room for strollers and carriers.