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The rehearsal dinner: who to invite, who pays and what it costs
The rehearsal dinner list grows one reasonable name at a time. Build it in rings, price each ring before you add it, and stop at a line everyone can see.
The short answer
Invite everyone in the wedding party with their partners, the officiant and their partner, both sets of parents and stepparents, grandparents, and any siblings not in the wedding party. That is the list the Emily Post Institute gives, and with four attendants each it comes to 28 people. Aunts, uncles and out-of-town guests are optional. At $75 a head plus service and tax, each person you add costs about $96.
Three in four couples have one: in The Knot's 2026 study, 75 percent of couples held a rehearsal dinner. It is the smallest event of the weekend and often the hardest list to write, because there is no venue capacity to stop it growing. This guide builds the list in rings, prices each ring as you go, and ends with a line you can explain to anyone who asks.
Who is invited: the core list
The Emily Post Institute's list is the one most families recognise:
- everyone in the wedding party, with their spouses or partners,
- the officiant, with their spouse or partner,
- both sets of parents, stepparents and grandparents,
- any siblings who are not in the wedding party.
If a child is in the wedding party, their parents come too, even if the parents are not attendants. Children who are not invited to the wedding are not invited to the rehearsal dinner either; our guide to an adults-only wedding covers how to say so.
The officiant may not come, especially a religious leader with a service the next morning. Invite them anyway.
Build the list in rings
Write the core list first, then add one ring at a time and price it before you add the next. Here is a worked example, a couple with four attendants each. Everything above Ring 2 is the core:
| Who | People | Total |
|---|---|---|
| The two of you | 2 | 2 |
| Eight attendants, six with partners | 14 | 16 |
| Officiant and partner | 2 | 18 |
| Both sets of parents and one stepparent | 5 | 23 |
| Three grandparents | 3 | 26 |
| Two siblings not in the wedding party | 2 | 28 |
| Ring 2: aunts and uncles | 8 | 36 |
| Ring 3: out-of-town guests | 20 | 56 |
The core is 28. Most rehearsal dinners stop there or at the second ring. Zola puts a typical rehearsal dinner at 30 to 50 guests, which is where this one lands with the aunts and uncles.
What it costs
Zola puts the average rehearsal dinner at $2,700, with most between $1,350 and $4,500, and most couples spending $55 to $150 a person. The price on the menu is not the bill, though. Zola notes that service charges usually add 18 to 22 percent and sales tax 6 to 10 percent.
Price the example above at $75 a head for food and drink, then add a 20 percent service charge and 8 percent tax, both on the food and drink. That is $96 a person. In the table, "Food" means food and drink, and 36 adds the aunts and uncles, 56 the out-of-town guests.
| Guests | Food at $75 | +28% | Total |
|---|---|---|---|
| 28, core | $2,100 | $588 | $2,688 |
| 36 | $2,700 | $756 | $3,456 |
| 56 | $4,200 | $1,176 | $5,376 |
The core list costs about Zola's average. The third ring doubles it. Ask the restaurant how it works out the service charge and tax: some charge tax on the service charge too, which adds a little more.
If the number is too high, change the meal before you cut a ring. Zola's figures: a lunch usually costs 30 to 40 percent less than an evening dinner, a buffet 20 to 30 percent less than a plated meal, and family-style service 15 to 25 percent less.
Free toolWedding guest list templatePaste your names and download a guest list for Excel or Google Sheets, already filled in.Make my guest listWhere to draw the line
Draw it by a group, never person by person. The Emily Post Institute's advice for out-of-town guests is to include some and not others only "in a clear-cut way", for example relatives but not friends. A line by group is easy to explain: "we kept it to family and the wedding party". A line by person is a list of people who were left off.
Three rules that keep it fair:
- Partners come with their person. If an attendant is invited, so is their partner, whatever their status. Our guide to plus-one etiquette uses the same rule.
- Whole groups or none. All aunts and uncles, or none. All out-of-town guests, or none of them.
- Ask the host before you add a ring. Whoever pays has a say in the list. If a ring costs more than they offered, it is their decision to make, not yours.
If you leave out the out-of-town guests and want to look after them, the Emily Post Institute suggests a list of local restaurants, a meet-up at a hotel or bar, or a casual evening hosted by local friends. In The Knot's study, 26 percent of couples held welcome drinks, which greets the same guests without a seated dinner.
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner
The Emily Post Institute says it is customary, but not required, for the groom's family to host. The bride's family, the couple themselves, or both families together are all fine. For a couple without a bride's and a groom's side, a simple version is the family that is not paying for the reception, or the two of you.
Agree three things with whoever hosts, early: the amount, who chooses the venue, and who writes the list. Our guide to who pays for what at a wedding covers that conversation in full.
Yes, I Do
Every guest, every reply
Paste a list from anywhere and it becomes names. Replies, plus-ones, dietary notes and tables stay in one place, for both of you.
When to plan it, and how to invite
The dinner is usually the evening before the wedding, after the rehearsal. If the rehearsal is earlier in the day, a lunch works just as well. The Emily Post Institute's one rule on style: it should never be more formal or more lavish than the reception.
Book the restaurant once the list and the budget are agreed. Then send invitations three to six weeks before, with a reply date and directions. They can be printed cards, handwritten notes, an email or a phone call. Give the restaurant the final number when you give your caterer the wedding's, as in our guide to the final headcount.
The toasts are the heart of it. Parents and attendants usually speak, and many couples close the evening with a toast to their parents.
Keeping the list and the cost together
In Yes, I Do the guest list groups people by family and friends or by side, and counts plus-ones with each person, so the core list and each ring are quick to count. Add a Rehearsal dinner category to the budget with the amount the host offered, and the restaurant's deposit and balance with their due dates, so it sits beside the rest of the wedding. Your partner sees the same list and numbers on their phone.
Questions
Who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner?
The wedding party and their partners, the officiant and their partner, both sets of parents and stepparents, grandparents, and siblings who are not in the wedding party. That is the Emily Post Institute's list. Aunts, uncles, close friends and out-of-town guests can be added if the budget allows.
Do you have to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner?
No. The Emily Post Institute says it is by no means a must. If you invite some, draw the line by a group, such as relatives but not friends, and think about welcome drinks or a list of local restaurants for the rest.
How much does a rehearsal dinner cost?
Zola puts the average at $2,700, with most between $1,350 and $4,500, or $55 to $150 a person. Add 18 to 22 percent for service and 6 to 10 percent for tax. A core list of 28 at $75 a head comes to about $2,700 with both added.
Who pays for the rehearsal dinner?
Traditionally the groom's family, but the Emily Post Institute says the bride's family, the couple, or both families together are all fine. Whoever hosts usually has a say in the list and the venue, so agree both when you agree the amount.
Do plus-ones go to the rehearsal dinner?
Spouses and partners of everyone in the wedding party are invited, as the Emily Post Institute's list says. Guests who are not on the rehearsal dinner list do not bring anyone to it. Partners of anyone else you add, such as an aunt or a friend, come with them.
How many people usually go to a rehearsal dinner?
Zola puts a typical one at 30 to 50 guests. A core list of the wedding party, partners, the officiant, parents, grandparents and siblings came to 28 in our example, with four attendants each. Out-of-town guests are what took it past 50.
Sources
- The Emily Post Institute: The rehearsal dinner, for the guest list, who hosts, when it is held, invitations three to six weeks ahead, the toasts and the rule that it is never more lavish than the reception.
- The Emily Post Institute: Inviting out-of-towners to the rehearsal dinner, for out-of-town guests, the clear-cut line and the alternatives.
- Zola: how much does a rehearsal dinner cost, updated 19 February 2026, for the average and range, the cost per person, the typical guest count, service charges, tax, and the savings from lunch, buffet and family-style service.
- The Knot Real Weddings Study 2026, full data read-out (PDF), 10,474 US couples married in 2025, for the 75 percent who held a rehearsal dinner and the 26 percent who held welcome drinks.